So you’ve just realised your groom is not the one. What do you do next?
You’re standing at the altar starring at your groom. Family and friends with beaming faces smile lovingly as the priest stands before you and proudly states “we are gathered here today”. And then, caught in an eye lock with your groom it suddenly hits you – he’s not the one! In fact you saw more potential in Lonnie - the newsagent who sells you the morning paper. But it’s too late now, despite the doubts you always had, you’ve spent a fortune on the wedding and the “runaway bride ditch at the altar” is such a tacky move. So that’s it you’re done, doomed to spend a lifetime with the wrong man because you ignored the signs and believe us there are always signs!
Now with any luck you’ll figure out he’s not the one before you reach the aisle which is surprisingly common, in fact a large number of individuals confess to having second thoughts after the engagement. Why is this? Well the post-party period is typically the time when you stop seeing things through rose-tinted glasses, rationalising away those red flags and really begin to analyse the choice of a lifetime.
These signs aren’t always obvious at first but once you know what they are you’ll be able to spot them in a heartbeat. In the interest of preventing the enfianced population from making some critical errors we’ve compiled a list of the tell-tale signs that could suggest he’s not the guy for you:
If in the list every girl eventually makes of their partners pros and cons there’s a serious lack of pros.
This is an oldy but a goody, it’s an easy way to figure out if he’s right for you. The list should only consist of the things that really matter and if you’re finding that the major things aren’t on the pros side, such as having babies or taking your dream trip around the world then maybe he’s not your guy.
If he’s more a work in progress than a finished masterpiece
Ok so we’re not thinking of your guy as a masterpiece here but generally if you’re finding that you constantly want to change him it might be time to step back and realise it’s not a better version of him you want but someone else entirely.
If you don’t trust him
Relationships are built on trust and if his phone can’t ring without you asking who’s calling or you’re worried that he’ll really take advantage of his last night of freedom then marriage isn’t going to make this any better.
If you don’t turn to him for comfort
You’re other half is the one person you should be able to run to no matter what and if you feel you can’t, then maybe he’s not your great love.
If your long-term goals are incompatible
Let’s be honest here ladies we’re women with goals, aspirations and plans and if those things don’t match up with your partners’ then you could face struggles a little further down the road. While everyone’s different as a couple your goals should be able to work together and neither of you should have to compromise your dreams.
If he doesn’t respect you
This is a big one and why wouldn’t it be? Respect is a really important thing for us ladies and if you don’t have it initially it’s not something that can just grow.
If there’s a lack of attraction
To a certain extent this shouldn’t matter at all but it does. In fact the intense desire for someone is something that keeps the magic alive even when you’re feeling tired, cranky or “not in the mood”. You have to be attracted to your partner, no compromise.
So now you know he’s not the one, how do you approach the situation? Well somewhere between the ring and the aisle you’d discuss your feelings with your partner, wouldn’t you? Apparently not as 35% of women we asked said that after the proposal they would go through with the wedding while 86% of men said they wouldn’t go… a little surprising, no?
On this occasion we’d have to side with the men and say if it doesn’t feel right ladies, don’t do it!