Whether you’re mother of the bride (or groom), we’ve got some top tips for you when it comes to being involved
Congratulations! Your son, or daughter is finally getting married! Wedding’s aren’t just a big deal for the couple involved, they are also exciting for their families- the mother of the bride especially! If this is your first time marrying off one of your children then you might like to take a look at some of our handy tips on how to be involved in the wedding planning process.
1.Beware of over enthusiasm
It’s great that you want to be involved in the wedding planning, but there is such a thing as overdoing it. It could be that your son or daughter have strict ideas as to what they want from their wedding, and that’s great- it is their day after all, or they might want as much input from you as possible. Either way find out what the couple expect from you and try not to overstep the mark too much, it’s easy to get carried away! Let them know that you are there to support them in whatever way they need and let them come to you.
Nowadays it’s quite common for the bride and groom to fund their own wedding; however, if you are insisting on making a contribution make sure that they (and you), know what your limits are. Discuss any monetary issues with your partner before offering over a chunk of your savings to your child’s wedding, after all, you’re not the bank of mum and dad.
3.Don’t hog the guest list
Just because you were invited to cousin Janice’s step-daughter’s niece’s wedding, doesn’t mean you have to invite them to your son or daughter’s big day. Chances are the couple will already have a long list of friends and family to invite, but don’t forget that you should have some input- it’s not everyday you marry off one of your children! Be reasonable with your demands and be prepared to cut down your list if necessary as the other set of parents will want input as well!
4.Meet the parents
If you haven’t done so already then it’s probably best that you meet your son or daughter in-law’s parents before the big day. A casual dinner at a restaurant is a nice way to forge some new connections as it takes the pressure of being the host off either family. If your child does not suggest meeting the parents to you themselves then let them know you are excited to do so as they might be nervous about bringing it up. Often a little encouragement is all that is needed.
Consult your son or daughter as to the style of the wedding so that you can plan your outfit accordingly. If they want a toned down affair then I’m afraid you might have to stow your hat! If you have built up a good rapport with the other mother in-law to be, then it might be a nice idea for you to go shopping together, that way you won't clash and your styles will compliment each other. Whatever you do, don’t wear white- Brides only I’m afraid! Even if it shows off your great tan.
We’ve saved the most important for last- and it should really go without saying. Wedding guests can be quite demanding and the bride and groom will often find a lot of pressure put on them from unknowing friends and family. Try to be on hand to diffuse any situation as it occurs; be that reassuring someone who didn’t get a full day invite or stopping drunk cousin jackie from dancing on the table.
You may find that you are also needed as a shoulder to cry on. While wedding are a happy time they can also be an extremely stressful one. With extra demands on their time and wallets they might just need you to wrap them up in a hug and tell them it’s all going to be okay, and at the end of the day- isn’t that what mums do best?
For more tips on how to look flawless for your child's wedding day, check out our blog on 9 Style Tips for The Perfect Mother of the Bride!