After the flowers, cake and confetti, it’s time to play grown-ups and work on that marriage!
After the wedding is over and you’ve soaked up some sun on the honeymoon, it’s time to return to reality and face the first year of marriage. Though this may unintentionally sound like impending doom, you will most likely still remain in a state of bliss with your spouse and that is undoubtedly one of the joys of getting married.
It is important to remember however, that marriage is significantly different from dating and will, as many often agree take some adjusting to.
Post-wedding blues and playing ‘dress-up’
For so long you called your spouse boyfriend/girlfriend or fiancé(e) and it just stuck- now you’ll have to get used to referring to them as their spousal name, i.e. husband or wife and this may seem a little overwhelming at first. You may also feel like you’re constantly forgetting something, but don’t worry! Much of your brain is no longer storing wedding-related info so while it may feel as though you still need to seat Aunt Edith somewhere, you actually need to take some time to relax and think about your new life together!
Many couples have also felt that after the wedding is over, they feel as though they are playing a game of ‘dress-up’ pretending to be something they’re not and feel as though it may all crumble around them at any moment.
If everyone is feeling it, it must be normal! Post-wedding blues and feeling a little disconnected from the rest of the world are completely normal feelings to have in the first year of marriage and like everything else, all you need is a little adjusting time and you’ll be good to go!
The ‘when will you start a family?’ questions
Be prepared, for much like winter a-la Game of Thrones, they are coming. You’ve probably just had time to curl up on the sofa and take a breath when before you know it, people are asking when the baby’s due. Thinking about it, it’s a little awkward, not to mention rude, so feel free to respond accordingly. Although you must expect them at some point, the truth is its no one else’s business but your own so don’t feel any pressure at all to start breeding.
There will probably be arguments…then lots of making up
You wouldn’t expect it in the first year of marriage but it happens; habits neither of you usually noticed may begin to surface. You might notice that he squeezes the toothpaste from the middle and he might notice that you leave your clothes everywhere, again, the two of you are adjusting to this new lifestyle and you won’t always see eye to eye but that’s okay, there’s always a way to kiss and make up.
Sex may feel like a routine
Life will expectedly turn into a routine you’ll more than likely be comfortable with and while this may not mean that your sex life will be utterly passionless, it may mean that you’ll know what to expect and when to expect it. That’s not to say that the days of earthmoving encounters are behind you- far from it- it is simply all a part of the transitioning period you will undergo while creating your new life together. Expect encounters of mind-blowing proportions for your forecast in the near future!
While you’re stuck pining for your own parents, your spouse’s may be around all the time offering unwarranted advice on how to gain the best shine on pots and pans. While advice on the cleaning of cooking utensils is always welcome, you may hear something you actually won’t like. In these circumstances, a gently managed response is always a plus. Make sure you have the perfect balance of love and appreciation with boundaries and you’ll maintain a healthy relationship with your in-laws.
You may not always like the gifts you buy each other
Once the wedding dust is settled and you’re fully immersed in the first year of marriage, you both may be tempted to buy things the other ones needs rather than wants like a new razor. It’s true, items for the maintenance of personal hygiene don’t exactly scream romantic, but this is because you’ll begin to feel comfortable in your relationship and will notice things like that a little more. Of course you’ll need to switch on the romance button and give little hints to each other for things you’ll actually want when gift buying. Don’t forget to reward each other every now and then when you get it right!
It’s important to take a break
Aside from the honeymoon, taking a break in the first year of marriage is important. A romantic getaway while your marriage is new is essential no matter where you go. Keep your marriage alive by organising an annual trip just for the two of you; enjoy the pampering, the complimentary chocolates and take time to recapture the magic you experienced when you first met, it’ll all be worth it in the end.
For more great advice, or if you just have any questions, get in touch with us!