Marriage Takes a Lot of Work, but This One Skill Could be a Dealbreaker.
Happily Ever-Afters don’t happen. I’ll give you a moment to let that sink in. I’m afraid, ladies and gents, that we are not living in a Disney movie (which is probably just as well because you do not want to hear my singing voice). I’m not saying that this means we should give up on ever being happy, far from it. I just want you to have realistic expectations.
When it comes to marriage, many of us will go in with rose-tinted glasses: everything is perfect, I’ve married my best friend and soulmate and we are going to live happily ever after.
Hopefully you will be happy, in fact, I’m sure you will be… the majority of the time. You won’t be happy for “ever”. It’s not possible. You are inevitably going to come to blows over some things and that’s okay. It’s normal. But there is one skill that you have to learn in order to get over these arguments and get back to your happy place, and that is the ability to say “sorry” and mean it. Not only that but you have to be able to forgive and mean it too.
Arguing with your spouse is horrible, you will both say things that you don’t mean and you will hurt each other’s feelings. The only way to get round this is to swallow your pride and apologise; forgiving your partner in return.
In theory it sounds easy, but it’s not.
In order to apologise and to forgive, you have to be strong and be able to move on; and what better incentive is there to be strong than love? As part of forgiving and moving on you will be able to overcome your differences and difficulties together which will make you grow and become stronger as a couple- adding to your happiness.
You are going to experience moments of frustration and anger throughout your life together, but you must remember that no one is perfect (not even you), and you must give your partner the same “benefit of the doubt” that you would expect them to extend to you. You are a team, though when you’re at loggerheads it might not feel like it. It’s not about one-upmanship it’s about remembering to be humble when you have to be and making it work by not holding grudges and driving wedges between you.
So remember, next time you’re in the wrong simply apologise (or if the tables are turned; forgive), and get back on track to being happy.