Now, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but divorce rates are on the rise.
Many couples are now entering into marriage with rose-tinted glasses, only to exit with disappointment upon discovering that marriage is not as perfect as they were told it would be. For this, I can’t help but blame the media. Pop culture has been painting an unrealistic picture of marriage for decades, which leads to many couples assuming that their own marriage is a failure, when really all their relationship needed was some tender loving care.
We can’t all be as perfect as Brangelina, but a marriage doesn’t need to be perfect to be successful. To keep you feeling positive about your marriage, we bring you the real truth behind some common marriage myths.
Warning: believing these myths may lead to dissatisfaction and disappointment in twenty-first century married life - avoid them like the plague:
1) Happily Married Couples Don't Argue
Okay, let’s set this straight. Bickering about the heating bill doesn’t mean your marriage is going down the drain. Similarly, arguing about why you’re back so late on a Friday night is not a reason to file a divorce. Getting things out in the open is healthy and beneficial to your marriage, and trust me - it’s better than keeping it bottled up. If you’re ripping each other's hair out every night then fair enough, maybe you need to address your issues in a different way - maybe through marriage counselling. However talking through your problems is a sign of your maturity, and the odd argument here and there does not make you a bad couple.
2) Successful Marriages Come Naturally
No matter what your friends say, marriage isn’t always easy, and it doesn’t come naturally to everyone. He can be the ‘One’ and still drive you up the wall when he leaves the toilet seat up. (Why do they do that?) Marriage is like a rollercoaster with its highs and it’s lows, so when the going gets tough, don’t lose hope, and remember why you chose each other in the first place. At the end of the day, a successful marriage is a work in progress that needs constant dedication, attention and most of all - love.
3) Mr or Mrs Right Are Perfect
It’s easy to enter into a marriage with unrealistic expectations of your spouse, with many couples blaming their marriage issues on their partner’s imperfections. Come on, perfection is unattainable and utterly boring anyway. Imagine a relationship where you both did exactly what each other wanted? It may be heaven for a day, but after a while you’d miss how dynamic and spirited your relationship was before. Don’t expect them to be perfect and you won’t be so disappointed when they’re not.
4) Children Will Make Your Marriage Happier
Having a child is the natural next step after a marriage for many happy couples. However, it isn’t the right route for everyone, and it certainly isn’t the way to strengthen an unstable marriage. Having a child at the wrong time can in fact pull a couple apart, creating an unhealthy environment for a child to grow up into. Make sure you do it at the right time and for the right reasons.
5) A Happy Couple Spends All Their Time Together
Just because you’re married, it doesn’t mean that you’re joint at the hip. Whilst I’m sure you love spending time together, it’s refreshing and healthy to get some time away. Have a night in to yourself with a takeaway and a film, or get out and see your friends. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, and you’re far more likely to enjoy a successful marriage if you both get your space.
6) Marriage will make you happier
Here’s the biggun: marriage is not a guaranteed one-way ticket to happiness. The wedding is over and the newlywed chores are out of the way. However expecting the ring on your finger to now solve all your problems would be an unfortunate assumption. At the end of the day, your partner is not responsible for your happiness, you are, so be sure to enter into your marriage with realistic expectations on what your partner can offer you.
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