Marriage and name changing: how women feel about it.
“My name is Sophia Matthews, but a year from now, after I got married, my name has become Sophia Robinson, which is something rather different from who I was.”
Abandoning one’s surname and taking that of your partner has always been considered a sign of commitment but at the same time also a sign of inequality. In fact, why can it not be the other way around?
It’s all about tradition. Tradition calls for women to change their name and take one their man’s name when they get married. Through the years, though, thanks to the Women’s Movement, some women have altered the tradition. Nowadays, some women take their original last name as a middle name or include both names in their signature.
However, some women still struggle to understand which one is the right decision.
A selfish woman would be like “What’s the point of having children and give them a family name that is not mine? After all, I gave birth to them. I would like to be at least acknowledged.” Well, that is very selfish.
Whether a woman wants to change her family name or not, the decision should be made clear to both partners even before their wedding day. Whenever the groom and the bride disagree on something, that can be the start of mistrust and the beginning of the end for the marriage.
As a woman, be aware that your name will not be automatically changed to your husband’s when you get married. If you do nothing, your name will stay the same and it’s entirely up to you whether to keep your identity or not.
There might be plenty of reasons why you could want to keep your surname.
Equality. What if your husband did hyphenate his name, too? In that case, your children could have both your last names hyphenated. In fact, some women think it’s unequal for children to automatically take their father’s name.
However, you shouldn’t care that much about names. It’s true that some people will assume you are “Mrs. Reflective Groom”. In fact, in the past decades it was common to refer to married women as housewives, which –in my opinion- is not a good reason for women to stay out of the workplace, anyway. But I promise some people will also be more assertive and judge you by the way you are and not simply by your name.
Make your choice and be yourself.