Pre-Wedding Jitters or Second Thoughts: How to spot the Difference

Pre-Wedding Jitters or Second Thoughts: How to spot the Difference

Are your pre-wedding jitters simply anxiety, or are a sign of something else?

No matter how besotted you are with your partner, promising to be there ‘till death do us part’ can be a scary commitment to make. After all, by marrying them, you’re ruling out millions of potential suitors who haven’t crossed your path yet. How the hell are you supposed to know if he’s really the ‘One’?

If these thoughts sound strangely familiar, take a deep breath and keep calm. What you’re experiencing are completely natural symptoms of what we like to call pre-wedding jitters:

Moments of doubt, worry and uncertainty that can make you question whether ‘yes’ was the right answer after all. Most - if not all - brides and grooms-to-be will encounter these unsettling uncertainties during the months leading up to their wedding, and usually they are nothing to think twice about. However, spotting the difference between simple pre-wedding jitters and genuine second thoughts can be hard.

Are your sleepless nights foreshadowing a restless and unruly marriage? Or are your sweaty palms a sign of a deeply-rooted fear of the unknown? Sit tight, as Weddy are here to help you spot the difference:

Just pre-wedding jitters:  

It is not unusual to find flaws with your partner in the months leading up to your wedding, but this is not necessarily a reason to leave them standing at the altar. A mixture of anxiety and stress may cause you to frantically find reasons why he may not be Mr. Right after all, but bear in mind that nobody is perfect.

Write a list of all the things you love about him alongside his imperfections, and you should be able to tell if his flaws are real dangers to your happiness. For example, if his tendency to leave the toilet seat up appears on your list of imperfections, you know you have nothing to be worried about.


Write a list

Organising a wedding is an extremely stressful task, and noticing strains on your relationship is a natural and inevitable part of the planning process. If you notice you and your partner are grating on each other a little more than usual, don’t panic. Take a break from wedding planning and remind one another what it’s all for.


Take a break from wedding planning


Contrary to popular belief, it’s completely normal to fret about the commitment side of marriage. The prospect of waking up next to the same person until the day you die is scary and slightly surreal, but if you truly love one another, the idea should evoke more happiness than fear.


Commitment side of marriage

Signs you’re having second thoughts:

As your big day creeps closer, are you encountering a growing sense of dread? If so, we’re sorry to say that this rings some serious warning bells. Whilst feeling nervous and anxious about the outcome of your wedding is normal, if the prospect of marrying your beloved brings you out in a cold sweat then it may be a good idea to call it all off.




With public proposals, rejection can be extremely embarrassing and hurtful. However, marrying your partner to avoid embarrassment could be one of the worst things you ever do. If the only thing that stopped you from saying ‘no’ was your partner's feelings, then call it all off before it’s too late. Marrying out of pity is cruel and it will only end in regret.


Public Proposals

Is there love?

Chances are the answer is yes, but you’d be surprised by the amount of couples who marry for other reasons. If your ticking biological clock or financial status was your prime reason for getting hitched then you may be making the wrong decision for you and your partner’s future happiness. Marrying for any reason other than love is bound to end in disaster, so if there’s a lack of true feeling in your relationship then our advice is obvious - end it.


Ticking biological clock

If your partner has a history of being abusive or unfaithful, your pre-wedding jitters may be more of a warning sign than a simple uncertainty. Consider the long-term physical and emotional dangers of following through an unhealthy marriage and you’ll find that it’s not worth the harm.


Abusive or unfaithful

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