Over a year ago, my partner was lucky enough to have been chosen as his brother’s best man.
Nothing fills a fella with pride quite like being asked to fulfill this important position. However; having now been a best man, my other half will tell you that there is a whole heap of commitment, organisation and stress involved that he didn’t consider when he was first asked. The position of Best Man is not one to be taken lightly. Whoever you choose is going to need to put in a lot of time and effort in order to help your big day run smoothly. With this in mind here are the top 3 most important things to consider when choosing your best man.
1) Best Man Resumé
As I have already mentioned, the job of Best Man comes with a mountain of tasks which will test your appointed fella’s organisational, social and administrative skills. Is the man you had in mind up for the challenge? Can you trust him to organise your stag do without leaving you in hot water? Will he be able to give a decent speech at your wedding reception, without choking in front of a large audience, or taking things too far?
As well as these hard-and-fast things, will he be able to be there for you on an emotional and social level? Women are a naturally supportive group, rallying around a fellow woman who is in emotional need. However grooms need emotional support too; especially the morning of the big day, it is important that the Best Man is able to give this support.
2) Peer Pressure
As soon as you go public with your engagement, every man in your main social circle is going to be waiting to be asked to be your Best Man. Try to resist peer pressure from your family or even your partner. At the end of the day the choice of your Best Man lies with you; don’t worry too much about what other people think. If you are worried about hurting someone’s feelings then why not think of another way to incorporate them into the wedding? One of the groomsmen perhaps, or an usher?
If you have managed to narrow it down to a couple of candidates but still can’t decide, there is nothing wrong with having two Best Men. Not only will it stop you from having to make a really tough call, but it will also take some of the pressure off of them as there will be two of them to share the work load.
3) Don’t Put it off
You’re going to need as much help as possible, from as early on as possible so don’t wait too long to choose your Best Man. Once you have made your decision, allow yourself a bit of ceremonial celebration. Taking your Best Man out for a few drinks or for dinner is a nice way to break the news and will reflect the importance of the occasion.
When you announce your best man it’d be really crappy of you to change your mind. Unless there is a major bust up then your decision on the matter really should be final. If you find that your chosen man isn’t quite up to the job then address your concerns with them; it might be that they hadn’t realised how much was required of them.
Use The Weddy Checklist to help organise your Best Man duties.