Don’t let these seemingly harmless habits ruin your relationship
We all have our bad relationship habits; channel surfing during the ads, forgetting to pardon yourself after burping, and, dare I say it- squeezing the toothpaste from the middle of the tube!
Try to contain your horror for a moment, however; as you’ll be surprised to find that these little annoyances are not what tops our list of break-up worthy bad habits. Some faux-pas like being unfaithful or spending too much time apart, are hard to fix but these habits can be stopped!
So without further ado, these are the most common corrosive habits that can, over time, pull a relationship apart.
1. Obsessing over money and material gains
Continually trying to acquire more money or material items can be a sign of gaps of problems in other areas of your life- particularly in your relationship. Even when couples buy together, it is possibly a sign that neither are spending enough time on their relationship.
Money and time are better spent on sharing experiences together as a couple, rather than spent on trinkets that we can easily get bored of. Building shared memories not only contributes to your happiness singularly but also your happiness and strength as a couple- and that is something that money can’t buy.
2. Being attached to your mobile
We’d be lost without our mobiles but we have to remember that there is a time and a place; and it is not when you are trying to have a conversation with your partner. With an alarming amount of us thinking it okay to send a text or update a status during a dinner date, it’s no surprise that this habit ranks highly on our list of corrosive quirks.
By continually interrupting intimate time with your partner, you are sending out signals that they just aren’t that important enough to warrant your undivided attention. Try putting your phone on silent and stowing it until your partner takes a bathroom break. If you’re one of these serial smartphone users don’t get defensive when your partner gets annoyed with you, after all, how would you feel if at dinner they kept turning around to talk to the people on the table beside you? If you think about it, that’s essentially what you are doing!
3. Lack of enthusiasm
If you’re excited about something then you’re going to want to share it with your partner, but if they don’t give you the reaction you want, then the next time you have news you’ll be less inclined to share it. This inevitably leads your relationship in a downward spiral- with neither partner getting the attention they deserve.
If you are guilty of dismissing your partner’s cries for attention, don’t be surprised if they go looking for it somewhere else. At the end of the day you may be tired and cranky but try to be generous with your attentions when it comes to your partner- you should be grateful that you are the one they want to share their news and ideas with.
4. Sharing the housework
You might be surprised to learn that it’s not an issue of who does the housework, and whether it’s split 50/50 or 80/20, but rather the problems of couples being unsure of what is expected of them. Whether the divvying up of housework has been done through discussion or has happened organically, couples who have clear expectations as to the chores they are each responsible for have less arguments than those who have no set structure.
If you do the dishes 7 times out of 10 and then come home to find the dishes waiting for you you’ll be annoyed with your partner for not doing them. If on the other hand you agreed that doing the dishes was your responsibility, while it is your partner’s job to empty the bins you would not think twice about cleaning the dishes after a days work.
Setting up a cleaning rota may be a little juvenile, but it might be worth sharing out the household chores so that petty arguments can be avoided.
5. Sleep deprivation
None of us are at our best when we’ve been deprived of our 8 hours. Not only can it affect our general level of happiness but it can also affect our relationships. Grumpiness due to over-tiredness can cause you to lack motivation and interest when it comes to relationships- this can result in a lack of enthusiasm!
Poor sleep can also cause feelings of selfishness as we are more likely to indulge ourselves when we are feeling exhausted; preferring to do things we find easy or enjoy, and spending time alone. When we prioritize our own needs over our partners we can cause them to feel unappreciated which can breed resentment and cause arguments.
To promote a harmonious relationship you must both do your best to get at least 8 hours sleep a night.
If you find yourself wanting more relationship tips, have a look at our advice on Things You Should Know About Your First Year of Marriage