All you need to know before accompanying your partner’s grief journey
How soon is too soon for a widow to fall in love again? If somebody were to tell you that they started their new relationship only six months after their husband died, would you judge them? The matter of how much time needs to pass before you are able to move on after being widowed is a highly controversial one. One thing is true: you can’t plan life the way you would like to. Not everything happens for a reason.Sometimes things just happen and you can’t control them.
Remarriage itself can be a daunting undertaking, especially when someone marries you after losing their first spouse. However, there’s a few things you should never consider doing.
Do not ignore the past. Embrace it and never run from it. If you keep ignoring your husband’s grief, that’s not gonna stop it, since he most likely will grieve his loss forever. You should therefore be open and talk about where he’s at in his grief journey.
You should learn to accept the idea that you’re going to share your husband with another woman. It can be hard but remember that it is possible for love and grief to co-exist!
Be nice and sympathetic whenever you deal with the ex-wife’s family. They might be worried that his daughter’s memory will fade into obscurity and therefore they might treat you in a cold way.
However, just because your husband decided to remarry, that doesn’t mean you should feel guilty for it. Don’t ever let the past feed your insecurities or inhibit the growth of the relationship with your spouse. After all, your husband did not marry you because you reminded him of his previous wife. He married you because he saw something in you that is unique and peculiar.
Read, research and learn as much as you can about the various stages of grief. By the time you two get married, his grief journey will be complete.
However, there might still be an occasional spark of sadness showing up at times. Do not neglect it and be ready to talk about it. Keep in mind that the past is gone and you represent your husband’s future.
There is no right time to get married after being widowed. It could happen on the day following your terrible loss or it could also never happen. This is a personal choice and it’s entirely up to you.
However, if you do happen to get married again or to become the new partner of somebody who has gone through a loss, just be yourself and give them the love they need. The rest will come later…