Because sometimes it’s not as simple as putting on a pair of socks.
Uncertainty can strike at any time. Even if you have been in a relationship for many years, talk of marriage can often bring on a serious case of cold feet. Not to worry, as horrible as the nerves are, it’s actually pretty normal. Before you start questioning your upcoming nuptials, take a nice, deep breath and have a look at these quick tips. You’ll be feeling assured again in no time: promise!
Take a step back
No, I don’t mean from the relationship. Take a step back from the wedding planning! Planning a wedding is a notoriously stressful business so it could just be that all the decisions you are being with are taking their toll. Take a break for a day or so, relax and go do something that you enjoy. Change is as good as a rest- or so they say, so the change in activity should do your stress levels the world of good.
Date night should be a totally wedding-free zone. Remember what it was like when you and your sweetie were dating? Probably not because at the moment all you can think about is floral arrangements and seating plans. Take time to be a couple without the pressure of planning a wedding. Enjoying quality time together will make you remember why you agreed to marry them in the first place.
Make a list
Keep a note of everything that is making you nervous. I am an awful worrier- especially at night time. Keeping a list of everything that is bothering me helps me to address the issues with fresh eyes. Most of the time you will find that things that you thought were a huge problem weren’t actually a problem at all.
Make some solutions
Ideally speaking, once you have your list of fears you’ll be able to laugh them off as you realise how insignificant they are; however, some issues may still need addressing. Take some time to figure out some solutions to your problems; once you do you’ll be able to overcome them.
I know you’re not married yet but couples therapy is always a good idea if you are having doubts. A therapist will be able to discuss your issues with you as a couple and will enable you to work through them together. You will also both learn invaluable tools when it comes to fixing relationship problems which will stand you in good stead for years to come.
Speak to other married couples
Meeting with a therapist isn’t for everyone; especially if all of your spare cash is going towards the wedding. Try talking to some successfully married couples. They’ll be able to reassure you and will have some invaluable advice when it comes to making a marriage work. Don’t forget; happily married couples only please! If you ask advice from friends who are going through divorce they are bound to give you a biased opinion!
Talk to your partner
No one wants to be told that their other half has cold feet, but if you really want to spend your lives together then you will have to learn to be honest with each other- even about the things you don’t want to hear. As crazy as though it may seem; as your future with your partner is what’s making you nervous, they are probably the best person to reassure you. Talk it through with them and, as long as you are respectful of each others feelings, your relationship will come away stronger than ever.
We’ve already made a list of our worries, so why not make a list of the reasons that you wanted to get married in the first place. Recount your happiest moments together, the plans you have excitedly made, the first time you kissed… reliving those happy memories will remind you that your partner is worth the butterflies.
Okay so you've warmed up those cold feet of yours but you're still feeling a bit nervous about the big ol' day... here are some tips on settling those wedding day nerves.