With attention and nourishment your marriage can be more rewarding than you ever thought possible
It’s the age old adage: Marriage is hard work.
From the moment you decided to take your relationship to the next level you will have heard it from almost everyone; those with successful marriages and those without. But don’t let it put you off, just because making a marriage work isn’t always easy, doesn’t mean it’s not worth it. With the right amount of attention and nourishment your marriage can be more rewarding than you ever thought possible.
Here's some great advice on growing old with your beloved!
Here are 7 common matrimonial traps to avoid for a harmonious marriage, and the rest will be a whole lot easier!
1. Taking your partner for granted.
Your spouse is called your partner for a reason, you both have equal shares in your marriage. Never assume that just because you are married that your partner should do certain things for you without being asked. Always say thank you and show your gratitude when your partner does something for you, especially if they have gone out of their way to help you.
2. Bad mouthing your partner behind their back.
They may be rubbing you up the wrong way lately, but you should never speak badly of your partner behind their back. You may know that despite the minor annoyances, your partner is a good person but all anyone else has to go by is the information that you are feeding them. Bringing your spouse’s shortcomings to someone else’s attention is disrespectful, remember what your mother used to say: if you can’t say anything kind, don’t say anything at all.
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3. Disrespecting your partner.
It goes without saying that violence should be a no go in any successful relationship- though we may need to be reminded of this in the heat of the moment. It’s tempting to instead revert to name-calling but don’t give in to this urge either. Insults thrown in the heat of the moment may not be meant but they cannot be taken back. Try instead to talk things through calmly or to walk away from a situation until you have both cooled down.
Interrupting someone whilst they are talking is an extremely bad habit which is made even worse when the person that you are interrupting is your partner. By interrupting someone you are saying that what they have to say is not important and that you have no interest. It is important that your partner feels that they can talk to you and that you are going to value what they say.
5. Not taking time for yourself.
If you give all of your time to your partner, your family and to your work then you have no time for yourself. Taking time for yourself is important, not only for your own growth, but for your sanity! If you don’t make time for the things that you enjoy then you will come to resent your family for it.
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6. Arguing around the children.
Arguing is unavoidable in marriage but try not to let it get in the way of your parenting, especially if the subject matter is particularly heavy. Children are extremely aware of what is going on around them and if they sense hostility between parents they can become worried about the stability of their home life. If you do argue in front of your children then remember to remain respectful of your partner so as not to undermine their authority in front of the children.
7. Not spending time together.
It is important to put time and effort into your marriage and you can only do this by spending time together as a couple. Sitting together in front of the television doesn’t count. Find a hobby that you both enjoy, be it an outdoor activity or even following a sports team. Sharing a hobby will give you something to talk about that isn’t about work, the children or bills that need to be paid. On days when you can’t spend a great deal of time together, try to make enough time for a cuddle and a chat; intimacy isn’t just about getting naked after all!