5 plausible reasons for why popping the question is taking him so damn long
Ladies, if you’re reading this your love life is probably pretty cushy. Having finally crossed paths with ‘The One’, you’re presumably living in a happy bubble, eagerly looking to take your relationship to the next exciting level. Everything’s perfect - well, almost perfect. You and your partner are a match made in heaven and you both know it, so why on earth is it taking him so long to propose? If this strikes a chord, you’re not alone. A question commonly asked by many frustrated wannabe brides, it is not always an easy puzzle to solve. So, to advise and restore calm and patience to any soon-to-be brides, we’ve compiled a short list of what we think could really be stopping him from popping the question:
Many men whom I know, including my father, have never believed in marriage. “A sheet of paper isn’t a mark of my love!” he’d say, and as heartbreaking as this is for my mother who's always longed for a fairytale ending, it’s taught me a valuable lesson. Every couple should know and accept one another’s views on marriage before pursuing a serious and long-lasting relationship, as it may be harder than you think to change their mind. However, if you do discover that your views on marriage clash, don’t lose hope. After all, you may find that his love and care for you will be enough for him to drop his values and marry you anyway - but be prepared for a plainer, no-fuss kind of wedding.
There’s no doubt about it - from the ring to the reception, weddings hold an extortionately high price tag that, in the current economic climate, your man may not be prepared to pay just yet. It may be that he is secretly saving up the money to make your wedding as special as you always dreamt of, or perhaps he simply can’t afford to think about a wedding of any shape or size for another few years. However disappointing this may be, consider that he may be prioritising other expenses over planning a lavish wedding, such as finding you and him the perfect house. Don’t worry, your time will come - but you may have to put your wedding dress shopping on hold for another year or two.
It may seem impossible for those who constantly have marriage on the mind, but consider this: maybe your man is too busy focusing on his career for marriage to even cross his mind? It’s not that he’s not committed to you, rather he’s more committed to improving himself at the present moment. Personal improvement is not something to fault him for, so let him know that you’re supportive of his goals and achievements. However, if you’re desperate to speed things up a little, it may be a good idea to bring up the topic of marriage and see what it sparks up. Once he understands how important marriage is to you, he’s sure to make it clear how much he cares about your future together - hopefully by putting a ring on your finger.
Many men have deeply rooted fears of marriage that can stem from past experiences of married life or even from a simple fear of change - and we don’t blame them. Commitment can be scary and the prospect of marriage failure can be even more harrowing. Your partner may have come from a broken family, or perhaps he is worried about losing his independence after exchanging those vows. Either way, your man needs some reassurance that marrying you won’t be the be all and end all to his happiness, freedom and success. Life goes on after the wedding, so remind him that he’s not signing his life away when he signs those wedding documents. No marriage should ever change the fact that you’re still your own people pursuing your own personal goals.
Does your partner have a tendency to leave everything to the last second? If “in a minute!” is a line that frequently resonates in your household, then you may simply have a lazy boyfriend on your hands, who is procrastinating from the idea of marriage and commitment. Perhaps he is so comfortable with the way your relationship is at the moment, that he forgets that the best is yet to come. Get the wheels rolling by discussing your hopes for the future, and remind him that life is too short to wait around. You’ll probably find that he’s keen on the idea of marriage, but just needs that little push to get him off the couch and onto his knees - ring at the ready.
Are you tired of waiting around for a lazy boyfriend to make the first move? Mix things up a little and check out our tips and tricks for proposing to your man the right way.